Pastelland Forum

This is where I would like you guys opinion about what I have posted so far.
If you hate, and want to post hate, that is okay with me.

Any thoughts about parts you like, parts need fixing.
More Eyes = More Minds.

The More the Merrier.

is it basically just story you're writing?

Yes.
All I ask is your thoughts on it so far.
I just didn't want to spam the main thread I am using to post it.

Do want critique solely about the plot, or also the writing and orthography?

What your opinion is about it.

What you think the weak points are.
(And how you think what would improve it.)

What you think the Strong points are.
I am trying to get a better mind set on how to write it.

Wow, so, like, the orthography kinda sucks.

The same Vurn of always.

WorldisQuiet5256 wrote:What your opinion is about it.

What you think the weak points are.
(And how you think what would improve it.)

What you think the Strong points are.
I am trying to get a better mind set on how to write it.

Well, you could improve the story substantially by proofreading it (there are a few oddly-worded sentences and occasional grammar mistakes) revising it, using better words and adding more variety to sentence structure. (What's your first language? If it's English then I think you should have been able to have spotted these )

It is English.
I hate the English language.
Irony if you ask me.

I have gone over it.
(Note to self: Go over it twice.)
Thank you, I needed review from someone who was not a family member.
The Family relationship variable is out the the equation in this case.

Again, thank you.

WorldisQuiet5256 wrote:It is English.
I hate the English language

me too. but then again, i like it because i hate it so much

Thank you, I needed review from someone who was not a family member.

yes

when is there going to be more? i want there to be more

(i'm working on a critique. let me sleep on it.)