Re: Dreams
Posted: 09 Feb 2014 15:25
I've got a good one to share. But first, briefly, I believe our minds create and network symbols in order to aid our conscious mind recognize objects, give us quick impressions of situations and people, and to help us be creative and problem solve by combining symbols in new ways, and perhaps other actions. Dreams test the symbols and how they are networked by creating stories with them directly or by shifting the symbol used for its meaning slightly, or using another symbol that indirectly relates to the meaning (like a bear for a man named Berry). The test is made against what I'll call our simulation-awareness. What I mean by that is that it is our conscious mind, but that it itself is limited or modified to fit in with the story of the dream, so that you dream your a different gender, a different age, live somewhere different, etc but don't think that is odd. The unconscious (whatever that means... just the part that we are not conscious of) then sees what the simulation-awareness's reaction is to the simulation and strengthens or rewires reactions according to that. There is also the added feedback of when we become aware of the dream, either in the dream or afterwards and how that modifies our behavior. I believe we can find meaning in dreams, not because of some intent of the unconscious trying to talk to us, but because the dream is made of OUR meanings and symbols, the stories are OUR stories, and often they contain information about our own stories that we have repressed or are simply not aware of perhaps because the unconscious mind is seeking to create a complete and accurate network with no repressions or incomplete connections. (I've been trying to find out if their is any psychological literature that supports this view, and haven't yet. Carl Jung's theories get closest, but his are a bit nutty.)
Anyhow, so the dream is that I was working a combination of two of my old jobs, grounds keeping and apartment maintenance, and am in a white house which happens to be located in the same place that my grandparents old house was (not a clue about that detail of the dream, other than that my grandparents always represented old country values and hard work to me). I'm listening to philosophy podcasts on my headphones. (I've almost always listened to headphones at the jobs I work, though philosophy only in the past 4 years. I've always worried and at times been given a hard time for listening to my headphones.) I go inside the house and am just grinning and listening to the podcast, enjoying my work, though I'm not actually doing much but checking out the house. I wish I could remember what the podcast was about in the dream. I do remember waking up and thinking about that podcast for a while before I somehow forgot the whole thing (and why we forget dreams so easily is something I should add to my theory of dreams). Then, through the back door of the house comes a very tall man (or else I am shorter... I think both) in a black or dark brown suit. He's very stern and very unhappy. He makes me feel small and ashamed of myself. This is not a man I've ever met, but in the dream he is my boss. He starts right in about my headphones, telling me I can't use them anymore and I feel extremely ashamed suddenly for having been listening to them and for getting caught. Yet I'm extremely angry because the podcasts are what make me able to do any job and enjoy it. I go to my foreman in the dream (which is the foreman of my current job, and a cool guy) and tell him I'm going to start looking for a new job. He says, "that's fine, I understand, that guy (the boss) is a jerk." But at the same time, I'm super worried about not having a job because I have two kids and a house payment to take care of (which I didn't when I worked at the apartments). Yet I keep deciding to look for new work as I think about it. Wake up, the end, or something.
Ok, interpretation time. As I thought and talked to God about this dream the next day, I suddenly realized that the Boss is a negative character in me. He is my shame and guilt which can make me feel like a no-good idiot though I have him because I use to be so irresponsible I couldn't get work done. At some point, I created this character in me to drive me towards productivity so I could pay my bills, get better jobs, etc.
Here is the kicker though. I am often really mad at my son because of HIS irresponsibility. Yeah, he's like 4, so no big surprise. What is surprising is how angry I can be at a _4_ year old. So what I realized is that _I_ become this boss when I'm so mad at my son. And what I learned from that is how my son feels when I'm like that to him. I already knew I was being over the top, but now I have the actual experience he has when I'm so mad at him. I hated the way that guy made me feel!
So, I suppose what I've learned is not to be quite so harsh. I do hope to get a little of that boss in him or something else which will help drive him towards being able to better himself. But I now know why I get so angry and can cognitively rework that into something more humane.
Back to my theory, then, it wasn't that my unconscious mind was trying to intentionally tell me how my son feels, it is that I've always been conflicted about how angry I get with my son, and my unconscious was creating a scenario in order to try to resolve my own internal conflict using all the relevant symbols.
And what might be fun would be to think of how Mat's games use symbols.
Anyhow, so the dream is that I was working a combination of two of my old jobs, grounds keeping and apartment maintenance, and am in a white house which happens to be located in the same place that my grandparents old house was (not a clue about that detail of the dream, other than that my grandparents always represented old country values and hard work to me). I'm listening to philosophy podcasts on my headphones. (I've almost always listened to headphones at the jobs I work, though philosophy only in the past 4 years. I've always worried and at times been given a hard time for listening to my headphones.) I go inside the house and am just grinning and listening to the podcast, enjoying my work, though I'm not actually doing much but checking out the house. I wish I could remember what the podcast was about in the dream. I do remember waking up and thinking about that podcast for a while before I somehow forgot the whole thing (and why we forget dreams so easily is something I should add to my theory of dreams). Then, through the back door of the house comes a very tall man (or else I am shorter... I think both) in a black or dark brown suit. He's very stern and very unhappy. He makes me feel small and ashamed of myself. This is not a man I've ever met, but in the dream he is my boss. He starts right in about my headphones, telling me I can't use them anymore and I feel extremely ashamed suddenly for having been listening to them and for getting caught. Yet I'm extremely angry because the podcasts are what make me able to do any job and enjoy it. I go to my foreman in the dream (which is the foreman of my current job, and a cool guy) and tell him I'm going to start looking for a new job. He says, "that's fine, I understand, that guy (the boss) is a jerk." But at the same time, I'm super worried about not having a job because I have two kids and a house payment to take care of (which I didn't when I worked at the apartments). Yet I keep deciding to look for new work as I think about it. Wake up, the end, or something.
Ok, interpretation time. As I thought and talked to God about this dream the next day, I suddenly realized that the Boss is a negative character in me. He is my shame and guilt which can make me feel like a no-good idiot though I have him because I use to be so irresponsible I couldn't get work done. At some point, I created this character in me to drive me towards productivity so I could pay my bills, get better jobs, etc.
Here is the kicker though. I am often really mad at my son because of HIS irresponsibility. Yeah, he's like 4, so no big surprise. What is surprising is how angry I can be at a _4_ year old. So what I realized is that _I_ become this boss when I'm so mad at my son. And what I learned from that is how my son feels when I'm like that to him. I already knew I was being over the top, but now I have the actual experience he has when I'm so mad at him. I hated the way that guy made me feel!
So, I suppose what I've learned is not to be quite so harsh. I do hope to get a little of that boss in him or something else which will help drive him towards being able to better himself. But I now know why I get so angry and can cognitively rework that into something more humane.
Back to my theory, then, it wasn't that my unconscious mind was trying to intentionally tell me how my son feels, it is that I've always been conflicted about how angry I get with my son, and my unconscious was creating a scenario in order to try to resolve my own internal conflict using all the relevant symbols.
And what might be fun would be to think of how Mat's games use symbols.
