Pastelland Forum

Regarding my situation:
We finally forgive ourselves.

And tomorrow I have a school trip too.

Congratulations Isobel, and glad you did the right thing, Enihcambus.

She is so far the only person that I can't understand. Its just so hard to argue with her, neither her friends understand her, they came with different theories, some say she's good, some say she's evil, some say she not loves me, some say she loves me.
She's the first person so far that reached to screw me up, and thats why I can't stop think in her. She's destroying me, slowly consuming my integrity and hope, and yet she is playing with fire, she is slowly destroying the integrity and hope of everyone, even her friends are doubting at her backs, and that bugs her. She is missing, and since nobody understands her and nobody actualy knows with her is, its doubtfull that someone will help her. Its even worst that she doesn't comes here to much latelly. The people that doesn't likes her as well as those who fallen in her traps think she's a sociopath, but her friends think she's focused on what she does. I for some reason still love her, and I try to still understand her, to finally see what really she is, after all, it really baffled me the fact that I cannot understand a person, even more the fact that I was screwed by one. She played the wrong game with the wrong person, yet I still don't know why I taken seriosly the game, I started to think and even dream in her since the day we first meet in April 22th. The worst doubt I'm having now is that I don't even even know why I love her, I think I lost myself in the situation, and thats why my integrity and hope are consuming, I even have the feeling that I will not joy the hoolidays.
I already tough about 7 ideas of what she is, yet all where wrong. One thing is sure, she is still young, about 3 or 4 years younger than me, and yet I find it a glimpse, because if she was capable of screwing me up, then she is not that stupid. Tough sometimes I really want to kick her ass, I can't, thats why at the end I decided to talk instead of rage, I love her and I don't want to damage her, I have the feeling that I want to protect her, me her happy, like if she where my little sister and I were her older brother.
Why me? She knows me after all, she knows I'm smart, a good person, she knows I'm a such respected being, also considered nice and cute. I'm not much like other mans that she can screw withouth problem, yet "Why me?", Do really she knew that screwing me up will cause such conmotion, neither her friends, neither the teachers didn't know what happened when she did what she did to me, some of our friends in common left such nice friendship because of this. Since she screwed me up, being such respected being, everyone, even her friends started to look at her backs. Just imagine me as a respected, sensible and loved person, getting screwed and finally entering in depretion, crying, raging, screaming...
Did she expected such ending? Do she wanted to be seen as a sociopath?
I don't see her as a sociopath, yet I think this was not was the expected ending of her's plan. She had a reason for doing this to me, because she is focused, yet she isn't really capable of controling the whole situation, because she is still young. I really want to end this madness, but its up to her if she wants to show herself, after all, we really forgave ourseleves, yet there's still damage to be fixed, and the situation its not over, yet they're more doubts. When will be it over? Its hard to tell, she's hard to catch, she's almost always missing, the days when she don't comes to school I feel more disrupted than usual.
That takes me to the most wonderfull fact about us: We are happy with the presence of each other, sometimes when we look ourselves directly to our eyes, no mattering the distance, we grin to ourselves, at least for 1 second, even in those dark times where we were enemies we did so, and we would never stop, doesn't mattering the situation, there will be always a conection between us, and we will never forget ourselves.

*reads only FIRST and LAST word*

YAY! ^^

I seen this before.
Go to the Anime Section, this situation has the first name "Rin" written all over it.

Here a Quick Link.

Also, I don't know if this would actually help, but...send her the link to your post.
Sometimes, it better to say it, not spray it.
Its....Complicated, I can see with the amount of effort you put into that post.
That being said, it should be viewed by both parties involved in this conflict.

One last thing, I can see the frustration in this conflict.
Remember this post I left in the Relationship Section?

WorldisQuiet5256 wrote:One thing I have to struggle from time to time is to not fall backwards into my own worlds of creation to where I go insane and think I'm dating someone who does not actually exist, and was actually a character I created for a story.

That anime, Rin, from the game....she was one of those "Non-Existing People" to who I once struggle not to fall backwards into insanity.

WorldisQuiet5256 wrote:send her the link to your post.

Yeah, like if she knows english. -_-

Then translate it.
Print it out, and go up to her and read it word for word.
Don't give up on a good thing.

Like I said in that private message I sent you.
It was an old Indian Story after all.
Wisdom in its grandest.

Today I had a fantastic day:

I got 10 in a test.
I learned much new stuff in maths.
My situation is getting better, we are friends now and some broken friendships are now fixing.
I had such a really comical class with my "bald" teacher, as always.
And finally, the principal stoped the last our of class so everyone can go to see the match.

Well. That was an experience.

Yesterday, I attended the local International Rhapsody Rotorua Music Festival for the third time-but this time on the stage. It's quite a privilege for many, as hundreds of students from Australia and Asia spend a few thousand to use this as a musical convention (there are workshops) as well as a holiday of sorts. Luckily I live here.
I was part of the Concert Stage Band, but I hope to make it into the Honours Jazz group next year.
Now I have Vertical Vision stuck in my head. XD

Oh! And it's now the holidays. Explains why I slept till midday today.