Relationships

[Jatsko]

Sorry, that's just how I understood your post. I'll stop talking about it. (I mean, you did bring it up, but either way)

[ENIHCAMBUS]

I just wanted to explain a dream and the mean of it, but not discuss it.

Once again, I'm deeply sorry...

[Jatsko]

It's fine, lets just drop it.

[ENIHCAMBUS]

One last thing: Don't interpret it as "Everything is wrong about Enihc", please...

[Jatsko]

I'm not saying everything is wrong about you, I just wonder if you bring up your past relationship struggles too much and that it might be unhealthy.

[ENIHCAMBUS]

It makes me feel warmer...

See, stuff like January 23rd and July 21st were like these surprises life gives sometimes. But in January 23rd I overacted it, I wasn't patient enough and made it worst...

I have no idea of what life can came up for me, this time since July 21st, I'm not overacting it, I'm not doing anything at respect, it was the surprise that she can't forget me as I can't forget her, thats clear and I don't want to know anything else.

You know how is this reality, is full of surprises, it was a surprise that Borys came back to Forum early this year (Not with the same activity, but still), and that Gem got his room back to shape. I can't act, and I can't guess, I'll only have to wait until the next surprise, if there's any...

[Jance]

Random ohai to this ol' topic too Just wandering around with my current heartache and found my way here... Peeked what I wrote last time, over an year go, and weeeeeeell... things didn't go quite as I planned :'D I said then that I don't wanna be in a long-distant relationship, but oh what we have here? A long-distant relationship. With an octopus. Not real one, just a doll. I guess I really don't like humans... :'D

Some could say that at least I'm lucky, doesn't have to deal with everyday human problems like "what is he thinging about me", "is he telling the truth", "am I good enough for him" and whatever all you others have been dealing with. But no. Oooohh heck NO.

I started to write him in last October and we've been like pen pals ever since. I tried my best to make him realize that I'm romantically interested, and with lots of patience it slowly looked like working out. We have met irl twice, last time at his place - that happened just last month, so we did have quite good history already, when I took a brave step and gave him (first) kiss (on the cheek) and told I love him :3
And he said he loves me too.

...so what is this, that couple days ago he send me a letter telling he wants to slow down a bit? Slow down from what?! After almost an year I still don't even know is he my boyfriend or are we just writing and randomly seeing each other?!? If we slow down from here, we're going to walk backwards! D: I'm so confused and mixed feelings... just... whaaaat... whyyyyyyy... what did I do wrong... ;;___;;
And then there's this one ugly frog, making her moves towards him, visiting his place yesterday, doing his dishes like a wannabe-waifu that I was just weeks ago?! I know I'm bit over-jealous (and trying my best to hide it so I'm not like a creepy stalker or anything...) but isn't this just... wrong...

By my feelings I'm just so sad and angry - mostly for myself. That I'm so stupid ang ugly and no-good gf that no wonder if I can't keep a man, or anyone... I'm quite sure this is just beginning of the end and I'm gonna lose him because I just do everything wrong and cannot be like a lady should be. And that I am just some lousy earth-creature, instead of mermaid or sea slug or anything like that.
And by my brains I'm also scolding myself being such a loser that I'll get rejection even from a tiny doll...

I know this is probably weirdest thing you have ever heard of, but no matter how funny and stupid it sounds like, it's still my life and reality and I have been crying my eyes out for not knowing what to do and what's gonna happen later... I was going to meet him again in two months, just for one day, but dunno if it will be too fast for him or something -___-

Ps. Oh yeah, before getting TOO weird ideas, I'm a little doll also when with him.

[Jatsko]

I think the first thing you can do is stop automatically assuming it's your fault for everything that doesn't work out. I've been through that, and of course you don't want to look at your love interest as someone that's doing something wrong.

Maybe he could have phrased his feelings a bit better. Instead of feeling angry at yourself, look for a solution. Call him and ask him what he feels and where he wants this to go. Then work from there.

[Jance]

I'm really bad at talking on the phone... actually I'm really bad at calling anyone, 'cause I always feel like I'm just disturbing them <___< Also cannot make up anything... umm, well, what should I really say? Cannot just blurt out like "hey what the heck with all this?!" :'D Awawawawawadunnodunno.

And btw that feeling of disturbing everyone is another thing learned from childhood home, as are those other "I'm not good enough"-stuffs. When hearding all my life that I'm so different from others that no-one will want to be my friend, being bullied at school is just my own fault, I'm too annoying to do anything with, I'm a terrorist who's ruining everyone else's lifes, I'm a difficult bitch (that one I embellished a bit) and what else... and all these just from my mother's mouth, but pretty much alike what other people have told me as well. It's like I'm having a big stamp on my forehead that tells people to hate me. Haven't made many friends outside of the internet...
So, even when I do know everything is not my fault, it's kinda hard to really believe.

And what I'm going to do with this current situation, well, I think I'll just keep quiet and send him another letter and be all like "okay that's cool :))))" and... working from there then :'D At least slow speed is better than staying still.

[Jatsko]

umm, well, what should I really say? Cannot just blurt out like "hey what the heck with all this?!" :'D

Don't blurt it out necessarily, but approach it steadily, saying that you wondered how he was doing, and you really wanted to know where his feelings for you are. You care about him but you also want to make sure you're on the same page with how he's feeling. Let him know you're wanting to make the best of his feelings and don't want to offend him, you just want to understand how he feels.

So, even when I do know everything is not my fault, it's kinda hard to really believe.

Of course it's not going to be easy to change those beliefs, but by keeping quiet all you're doing is reinforcing them. The only way you can change what people believe about you is by doing something to prove them wrong. Call him, show that you're not afraid to show your feelings and that you're trying to make your lives easier rather than create more tension than is necessary.