Meditations

[Raxas]

Pictured: Taalit.

[Rooster5man]

Ant/Vurn, etc: Imagine having to serve 8 people at a single table, then doing more than a satisfactory job and being paid only a tenth of what the meal costs, even though people with common sense should understand that this waiter or waitress is working to bring their meals over from the dining room, when instead these same people could be making meals in their own homes. And considering the attitude of these same people, I'd say these waiters and waitresses should be paid more for having to put up with the crap they're given by some rude people. It's disgusting, and it's not right that they should be given a small tip if anything at all.

It's common courtesy being taken into account - If you do a great job, you should be praised for doing such. These people feel that morals shouldn't be taken into account, and that's what bothers me.

[Anteroinen]

Ant/Vurn, etc: Imagine having to serve 8 people at a single table, then doing more than a satisfactory job and being paid only a tenth of what the meal costs, even though people with common sense should understand that this waiter or waitress is working to bring their meals over from the dining room, when instead these same people could be making meals in their own homes. And considering the attitude of these same people, I'd say these waiters and waitresses should be paid more for having to put up with the crap they're given by some rude people. It's disgusting, and it's not right that they should be given a small tip if anything at all.

It's common courtesy being taken into account - If you do a great job, you should be praised for doing such. These people feel that morals shouldn't be taken into account, and that's what bothers me.

Ever heard of a salary? They work, they should get paid. That, however, isn't the customers' responsibility. It's the employers responsibility.

[zombyrus]

Stallion? Do you usually call people that?

I like to use "stallion" in places where things like "sir" would be appropriate.

Wording things in unconventional ways is important to me because I think it is among the most basic ways I can express that I am not the same as every other person. I think the only way that is more basic is my appearance, and of course all you guys have of that is a pumpkin that vaguely resembles what I looked like a year ago. (Not that a ton has changed. I might update the picture though)

[Oleander]

Well, I'm not a sir. I like the sound of stallion, though!

[zombyrus]

Stallion has its own usage... it isn't quite sir, but that's the closest thing to it as far as I know.

Needless to say you can pretty much use it however you want though, it's just classy slang.

[Anteroinen]

Oh, master, you forgotten honorific.

[zombyrus]

Yeah it was pretty incredible when I first found out that my polite honorific was "master." It should never have been forgotten. I don't agree with that "until you're 8" thing on your wikipedia page though; there shouldn't be a gap between master and mister.

I also wish more people were called "your honor." If people started calling me "your honor" without any irony that would be delightful.

[Rooster5man]

Ever heard of a salary? They work, they should get paid. That, however, isn't the customers' responsibility. It's the employers responsibility.

Tell that to the big corporations and CEO's that run these restaurants then.

[Redafro]

Topic shift: child discipline.

When you first meet my son, you might for the first 5 minutes think he is no more intense then the average 3 year old, as this is his short lived shy faze. However, after that you will almost always begin to be subjected to the sheer joy of running, laughing, screaming, jumping, wrestling, punching, acting, building, breaking, leading, dancing, singing, chatting, and... weirding that is my son. For the next 5 hours. Proud? Why yes, I am. (He can also follow 6-12 year old lego designs I might add... before he destroys his creation to start again.) He can definitely be a joy... and an extreme trial of patients. As my daughter has made her stunning way into my life (the most rapturously gorgeous smiling 4 month old ever I might add) my son's vying for the attention of the entire world has only increased... and my patience has decreased.

I go by the axiom "violence is the last resort of the incompetent," found in Isaac Asimov's Foundation series. Part of this is because I simply don't want to use spanking: I want to use reason and patience and have a peaceful household centered around that. I of course believe that a child should never be hit in anger or even spanked in anger, but I think a "gentle" spank delivered calmly and followed by comfort is not harmful and can be effective. However, I would prefer not to. I have attempted to some small degree reasoning, but my son's mind is too full of adrenalin to hear me 98% of the time. He fidgets, laughs, cries, and squirms instead. I was using a good method called 1-2-3 magic, where you count each instance of a behavior you've stated is not ok, then give the child a time out at 3. After the time out, your suppose to move past the offense without comment. This works to some degree when I'm really on my game and strict with the system, however I find myself constantly timing him out, and frankly there are many times you can't use time out after time out: bed time, time to go to work, etc. Also, he disregards every statement I make until I say "that's one" which is quite infuriating.

So, my problem is that when exhaustion sets in and patience runs out, I find myself incapable of doing any of this calmly. It turns into a negative feedback cycle, where the worse I get, the worse he gets and we both loose more and more control until I do end up yelling or spanking in anger. It is a horrible feeling and makes me feel far more than merely incompetent. Many times I've said I will just bite the bullet and use calm spanking without counting as the discipline method, for the time being at least, so as to nip the behavior in the bud. But I simply hate doing this at the same time. I'm quite frazzled to be honest. Add to this I've not been getting enough sleep and I'm working overtime in a physically demanding job, and you get quite the ugly situation.

So what do you guys think about child discipline? I know in parts of Europe spanking is illegal now, and I know many who agree with this, though I have noticed that in studies of this issue, calm spanking followed by comfort is never a category, but only angry spanking and hitting is. I can't decide if I should get past my hatred of spanking so that I can more effectively break out of the negative cycles me and my family get into, or what. I'm really tired of feeling like a horrible father though.